Tokyo Police Use Ninja Skills to End 8-Hour Standoff
Holy Crap that Really Happened!
Over the weekend here in Tokyo, All Nippon News (ANN) showed us exactly what a real-life display of police force looks like here in the big, big city.
The grainy, almost surreal broadcast, reminiscent of a bad VHS copy of an 80’s ninja movie, shows two undeniably badass Tokyo cops rappelling from the roof and bursting into a 14th-floor high-rise apartment in Shibuya Ward.
The resident, 47-year-old Hiroshige Ito, spent 8 hours Saturday yelling at passers-by, brandishing what appeared to be a firearm, and tossing golf clubs, a printer, potted plants, and other possessions from the apartment balcony. When 9:PM arrived, so did police special forces, who immediately subdued of the stupendously disgruntled Ito with a serious but thankfully non-lethal beatdown.
“How you wreck in trouble of interpersonal relationships”
...is the auto-translation of “対人関係のトラブルで参った様子,” ANN’s broadcast headline, and in this case, we’re not even going to bother with an actual translation - the machine nailed it. It’s been reported that Ito recently became unemployed and had been drinking heavily Saturday afternoon. Police said Sunday that Ito remains somewhat incoherent and claims to have no memory of the incident.
As for the Tokyo police, who are to be commended for their great skill and for not just going all Japanese Sniper on Ito, we can’t definitively report that they employ actual ninjas per se - but, this did happen in the capital of Ninja Land, and...well, just look at these screen-caps, watch the video, and decide for yourself:
Slightly Extended Version: